Twenty Something Catch Up

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It's been a month since my last post and I've aged an entire year since then. I'm not being dramatic... it was actually my birthday a few days ago. I've been giving myself some time to soak it all in. It might sounds silly but I cried a lot realizing that I was turning a year older. It wasn't the dramatic "omg I'm aging" type of cry, it was more of a cry realizing time is passing by and I still have so much that I want to do.

I felt like I didn't have my shit together, but who does? Who has 100% of their shit together 100% of the time?

There's so many places I want to see, people I want to meet, talents I want to acquire, and I feel like I'm far from accomplishing all that. I'm learning to not pressure myself to the point where I start living life through a check list. A checklist made up of complicated questions with complicated answers.

Am I supposed to be married now? Am I supposed to have my student loans paid off soon? Am I supposed to be posting some shitty ultra sound scan on Facebook any second now? What if I don't want that? Am I supposed to have a whole 401K plan figured out? Do I know anything about health insurance? What's a premium? Where do I want to buy a house to settle down in? 

Those questions came rushing to mind as my birthday got closer as if I was supposed to have all the answers (hence the crying). Those questions make me feel like I'm running out of time but I'm learning that time isn't for me to worry about. It's going to go by whether I like it or not. I just have to continue doing the things that make me happy vs. do things based on expectations given with age. 

If you ever get the same anxious feeling, just do what I did on my birthday, eat some fried chicken and drink all of the pretty drinks. Cheers to a new year and to new questions like, "what do you want to do tomorrow?"